To help encourage conversations and dialogue about questions and listening, our topic/question(s) of the week is: What question(s) can you ask to help you be a better listener? Questions for Listening (Week of 2/11/18) (This is an anonymous Google Form)
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I hope that the weekend was a nice one for all. Maybe it was the 'unexpected' 1/2 day mid-week, but this past week went by very quickly for me - driving home on Friday it felt as though the week had just begun (Don't get me wrong - I was still exhausted and ready for bed at an early hour...). We had a low-key Friday evening, a sports-filled Saturday, and our Sunday afternoon plans consisted of getting ready for our family trip to visit cousins in California for the vacation - looking forward to it!
It probably comes as no surprise that I often have a hard time unwinding from work and am tempted to get a jump start on my to do list to settle my worries before the weekend begins. A strategy I have employed (not saying it is the best one) is to do a few things on Friday to feel 'accomplished' and then 'allow' the weekend to begin. Work-home balance has always been a struggle for me and I have shared that I am trying to be more intentional about balance by listening and simply being present in the moment. It is hard for me, but I want to be better at this balance, and I know it takes practice.
When I arrived home Friday evening, I was greeted at the door by our dog, Lila, and the smell of a fire in the fireplace - it was a wonderful way to begin the weekend. I sat down by the fire, grabbed my laptop, and started to do some e-mail - then it just hit me - I should simply enjoy the fire and just be. As one who has a hard time following my own advice, it struck me that I needed to ask myself a few questions about 'balance' and 'time', and then be open to listening to myself. This applies to a lot of situations and is an area of growth for me - trying to solve and rectify challenges, before simply listening and gathering more information - in essence, slowing it down. So, in that spirit on Friday evening, I 'slowed it down' and put the laptop away - enjoying the fire and the opening ceremonies for the winter olympics with the family. It was just what I needed. I can't say that I was able to carry the 'unplugging' forward throughout the weekend, but it was a start, and it is something to build upon.
The two posts below speak to the importance of listening and asking questions - areas that will help us to be present, foster connections, and establish a healthy learning environment...
The Lost Art of Listening
by Eric Sheninger (@E_Sheninger)
Sheninger is an educational leader who pushes the proverbial envelope and is always sharing ideas. One of the attributes I admire most is his willingness to share what he is struggling with or trying to improve - in this post he shares how he can listen more by actively engaging others in digital spaces. This is an area I can certainly learn and grow and is also one that I would like us to intentionally talk about with our students.
You would be hard-pressed to find an effective leader who is not an effective communicator. Communication is vital in accomplishing tasks and getting things done, passing on important information, acquiring information, developing a shared vision, reaching decisions through consensus, building relationships, and moving people to embrace change. For many people, communication is viewed through a lens that focuses on why and how information or targeted messages are delivered. However, the most effective communicators are those people who listen intently.
The best way to illustrate that you have really listened is to take action in some way so that the other person, or people, know that they were actually heard. The action could be moving an idea forward or explaining your decision to go in another direction. There are always the times when people just want to vent and be listened to. In these cases, the most important thing you can do is show you care.
The art of listening can be extended to the social media space. This applies to all of us and I know personally it is an area that I can improve upon. Consider engaging others in conversations about their ideas and questions by commenting on blog posts or responding to updates on Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Facebook. This means more to people than you will ever know, especially if that person doesn't have a large social media following. It shows that you care and are actually listening in digital spaces. If someone reaches out to you in this space with a question or comment, take the time to reply back.
5 Questions Every Kid Is Trying to Answer
by David Guerin (@DavidGuerin)
Guerin is an educator worth following, and this post focuses in on the importance of relationships in fostering a healthy, supportive school culture. As he notes in the post, understanding these 5 questions as ones we all have in mind (students, teachers, parents/guardians, community members) is critical and needs to be openly addressed and considered...
1. Am I important to someone here?
2. Do I belong here?
3. Am I good at something here?
4. Who will listen to me here?
5. Is my presence here making a difference?
When we think about creating a stronger school culture, we know how important it is to focus on relationships. But why are relationships such an important part of an outstanding learning environment? It seems clear when you think about it. Everyone needs to feel connected. Everyone needs to feel like he or she matters. Everyone needs to matter! All. Of. Us....It's through relationships we create the supportive, inclusive, positive, and caring place we want to see. A place where people can thrive. A place to be great. A place to reach higher and do more.
This week every chance you get, look for ways to help others find the answers to these questions. You can show another person they matter to you. You can lift them up and make them feel like they are valued for who they are. You can show them they are heard. You can notice the unique talents and gifts they have to offer the world. You can show them how they are making a difference.
As February vacation is only a few school days away, I am going to try and channel Sheninger and Guerin's posts by asking questions, listening, and being present for our students and community this week by asking a few more questions and taking the time to not respond, but rather to listen.
I look forward to the work that lies ahead for all of us.
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Take care.
Nat