To encourage dialogue and reflection about the practice of gratitude, our question for the week is: What are you thankful for? Intentional Gratitude (Week of 11/19/23) (This is an anonymous Google Form)
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Our Essential Question: How can we cultivate and curate the progression of student learning and growth?
Our Mission: Blake Middle School believes in a living mission statement, based on the concept that our community seeks and respects knowledge, integrity, character, wisdom, and the willingness to adapt to a continually evolving world.
The most important attitude that can be formed is that of desire to go on learning. - John Dewey
You cannot teach today the same way you did yesterday to prepare students for tomorrow. - John Dewey
It was an engaging and reflective weekend for me - starting off on Friday afternoon (and continuing through today) with the opening keynotes for the Learning and the Brain conference in Boston - thanks to MCPE (Medfield Coalition for Public Education) for their generosity in funding! This is truly my favorite (and it has yet to disappoint!) experience - bringing research, science, and practical strategies together to support learning. Friday evening was wonderful - attending the opening night performance of Aladdin! Each year I admire the courage, presence, and strengths of our students at these performances. Congratulations to the entire cast and crew, with thanks to all of the adults who have been guiding them (I hope I didn’t miss anyone!)...Tracy Allen, Maureen Doctoroff, Joe Knaus, Nancy McLaughlin, Tom Woods, Kim Price, Kathleen Burkell, Sarah LoMonaco, Diane Horvath, Alice O’Connor, and Deb Manning - special thanks to Tracy for her leadership and guidance! Amidst the keynotes and breakout sessions from the rest of the conference, Grayden’s basketball games kicked off our next season of ‘activities’. We are looking forward to having Maggie come home on Tuesday!
‘It is literally neurobiologically impossible to think deeply about things that you don’t care about.’ - Mary Helen Immordino Yang
‘New learning boosts spirits’ - Barbara Oakley
The last time I attended the Learning and the Brain conference in person was in November, 2019. That year Linda Darling-Hammond was one of the keynote speakers, and she ended her session with these words from John Dewey (I have referenced her talk and these words before)...
- It is so important to reflect and convey our thanks
- We need to act on our gratitude
- A community must be inclusive of all
- Modeling our gratitude and acknowledging our areas of growth for where we are ‘falling short’ is critical
- We must practice, adjust, listen, recalibrate, and stay with our work - it will help us foster a culture of gratitude and support
- Gratitude is an intentional practice
- I hope we can learn and give thanks to one another
- Giving thanks is something that we all can do
Below are some shares that underscore the role of thanks and gratitude in our day-to-day lives - some recent and some are previous ‘shares’ - along with an ‘annual message’ at the season of Thanksgiving.
I will also be sharing more in the coming weeks from the conference - but, I wanted to highlight this podcast episode below as it really speaks to much of what we are witnessing with our students/community - while emphasizing the importance of fostering ‘mattering’ and ‘relationships’ - in essence, nurturing belonging…
ACHIEVEMENT CULTURE: What It’s Doing to Our Kids—and to Us
from The Next Big Idea podcast
(1 hr 12 min)
It's no secret that we live in a ferociously competitive world. But what is the drive to always be the best doing to our kids? That's what journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace wanted to know when she set out to write her new book, "Never Enough." The kids, she discovered, are not alright. Teenagers are battling burnout, depression, and anxiety at alarming rates.
How did we let this happen, and what can we do to fix it?
To answer these vexing but vital questions, we invited Jennifer to chat with Daniel Markovits. He's the author of "The Meritocracy Trap" and a professor at Yale Law School, where he's seen toxic achievement culture up close. In this episode, recorded live at Betaworks in New York City, Jennifer, Daniel, and Rufus discuss why our kids are under such unrelenting pressure, what we can do to give them some relief, and the potential role of new technologies, like AI, in creating positive solutions.
Shares on Gratitude
** Some recent and some ‘oldies but goodies’
Gratitude Really is Good for You. Here's What the Science Shows.
By Christina Caron in The New York Times
…numerous studies have found that having a grateful outlook, “counting one’s blessings” and expressing gratitude to others can have positive effects on our emotional health as well as on interpersonal and romantic relationships.
“Gratitude heals, energizes and changes lives,” Dr. Emmons said. “It is the prism through which we view life in terms of gifts, givers, goodness and grace.”
“Gratitude seems to be the gift that keeps on giving,” Dr. Algoe said.
How to Raise Grateful Children
from The Harvard EdCast
(23 minutes)
Andrea Hussong discusses the how and why of raising grateful children.
“Child psychologist: The No. 1 skill that sets mentally strong kids apart from ‘those who give up’—and how parents can teach it.”
by Michele Borba in CNBC News
Research shows that hopefulness can dramatically reduce childhood anxiety and depression. Hopeful kids have an inner sense of control. They view challenges and obstacles as temporary and able to be overcome, so they are more likely to thrive and help others.
Yet despite its immense power, hope is largely excluded from our parenting agendas. The good news? Hope is teachable. One of the best ways to increase this strength is by equipping children with skills to handle life’s inevitable bumps.
Here are nine science-backed ways to help kids maintain hope, especially during tough times:
1. Stop negativity in the moment.
2. Use hopeful mantras.
3. Teach brainstorming.
4. Share hopeful news.
5. Ask ‘what if?’
6. Celebrate small gains.
7. Boost assertiveness.
8. Create gratitude rituals.
9. Embrace service.
How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain
by Joel Wong and Joshua Brown in Greater Good Magazine
This brief post offers insight into the psychological benefits that exist when one practices gratitude. The intentional practice of gratitude is an important take-away from this post.
- Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions
- Gratitude helps even if you don’t share it
- Gratitude’s benefits take time
- Gratitude has lasting effects on the brain
Regardless of whether you’re facing serious psychological challenges, if you have never written a gratitude letter before, we encourage you to try it. Much of our time and energy is spent pursuing things we currently don’t have. Gratitude reverses our priorities to help us appreciate the people and things we do.
The science behind why you shouldn’t stop giving thanks after Thanksgiving
by Colby Itkowitz in The Washington Post
This post highlights the importance of gratitude, including an interview with gratitude expert, Robert Emmons. I came across this several years ago and it clearly had an impact on many readers, as at that time it was being ‘republished’ - Editor’s note: This post is being republished. The advice is timeless.
On most days, gratitude manifests as an emotional reaction to a favorable event or outcome. But it also can be a way of life. People who consciously choose daily to seek out things in their lives to be thankful for are, research has shown, happier and healthier.
The best way I practice gratitude is to continually think about those people who have done things for me that I could never do for myself. Who is looking out for me, who has my back, who has made my life easier because of their sacrifices? Who and what do I take for granted? Then gratitude becomes, real, concrete, personal. We all have people like that in our lives. I make a mental list of these, and try to think about ways in which I can give back some of the goodness I have received. Basically, I try to practice being non-self-absorbed. Non-grateful people are self-absorbed. Grateful people are absorbed by the good that others are doing for them. Focus on the other — this is the best gratitude message we can give people.
Indeed, gratitude rescues us from negativity. Left to their own devices, our minds tend to hijack each and every opportunity for happiness. Negativity, entitlement, resentfulness, forgetfulness, ungratefulness all clamor for our attention. Whether stemming from our own internal thoughts or to the daily news headlines, we are exposed to a constant drip of negativity. Doom and gloom is on the horizon, as financial fears, relational turmoil and health challenges threaten us. Weighed down by negativity, we are worn down, worn out, emotionally and physically exhausted. To offset this chronic negativity, we need to continually and perpetually hear good news. We need to constantly and regularly create and take in positive experiences. Gratitude is our best weapon, an ally to counter these internal and external threats that rob us of sustainable joy. In gratitude, we focus on the giftedness of life. We affirm that goodness exists, even among the rancor of daily life. This realization itself is freeing, liberating, redeeming. Gratitude works!
Vitamin G
The expansive power of gratitude
by David Destano from The Character Lab
Gratitude is a super virtue. It’s an idea that dates back to Cicero, who said that gratitude is not only a great virtue but the parent of all other virtues.
To be truly grateful, you have to be other-focused. Sure, people will say, “Oh, thanks” if you do something for them. But there’s a difference between expressing a quick thanks and actually pausing and allowing yourself to feel the emotion. For a lot of people, feeling indebted to someone is a negative. Some people think that if they have to ask for help, it makes them seem weak. But actually, that’s a misprediction. A study by Sara Algoe, Chris Ovies, and other psychologists finds that if we see someone express gratitude, we perceive them as being a better person. People actually like us more when we do it.
It sounds silly, but gratitude is like taking a virtue vitamin. It strengthens many virtues, not just the virtue of gratitude itself.
…savoring moments of gratitude throughout the day becomes a habit.vJust like with medicine, where you might take multiple doses, that helps the feeling of gratitude stay in your system. Because when you feel it, that’s when it influences your behavior the most.
Some Thankful Sentiments - Shared Each Year
Although they will (and most likely do) read and sound familiar and repetitive each year, I promise that the sincerity of these sentiments continue to grow in their depth. As I share each year, Thanksgiving is a holiday that holds great significance for me and my family since an accident I experienced while running back in 2009. It is hard to believe 14 years have passed since that time (Grayden was 3 months old!). At that difficult time, Katie and I found ourselves filled (overwhelmed, actually) with gratitude, appreciation, and love for the care and support we received from our Holliston and Blake/Medfield communities. Those feelings, sentiments, and emotions are still very strong and present for all of us.
At our assembly on Wednesday, I will be sharing my own sentiments of gratitude with our students and staff and I know it is important to keep acknowledging, naming, and sharing them. It can feel hard to articulate at times, but my intention remains true to keep expressing it - thank you. It is a privilege to work in a community that has both fostered and encouraged my own growth while also showing deep care for me and my family. I have shared these words from President Kennedy and the post/video below for several years and will be sure to continue bringing them to light...
(7:13)
I encourage everyone to find seven minutes this week to watch the clip and share with others.
In Praise of Gratitude
from Harvard Mental Health Letter
I have shared this brief post for a number of years - my very dear friend Mike Norton, who has done extensive work on happiness, sent it to me a few years ago. It provides a nice explanation for why gratitude is important and also offers tips to be more grateful.
In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.
Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier, or thinking they can't feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. And, although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice.
It is equally important to recognize and name that this time of year can be a particularly stressful and emotional one for both students and adults - and, maybe even more so this year. Personal situations, the loss of loved ones, or memories can bring forth many emotions, so please be sure to look out for one another and also rely on our community for support. Although I wish I could, I know it is unrealistic for me to have the opportunity to personally wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving before Wednesday afternoon.
I am incredibly grateful to be a part of the Blake community and believe we are making a difference. Please know that I am always happy and eager to process, listen, discuss, and share - my door is always open. Let us be sure to maintain a culture and spirit of eternal vigilance for learning, listening, and gratitude. As always, thank you for walking this path with us as a community.
Sampling of Responses from Last Week’s ‘Question of the Week’: What strategies help you to adapt and live with uncertainty and change?
- Uncertainty and change are actually the most consistent and guaranteed aspects of life. We lean into routine and wanting predictability, yet recognizing that change is always a part of life helps you to roll with it when it inevitably occurs.
- Be flexible and open-minded.
- Embrace continuous learning.
- Build a strong support network.
- Take care of myself.
- We learn the most when we are outside our comfort zones. The unfamiliar will never be easy - you just have to take the leap!
- Listening to music
- Knowing that when I come home I’m alright
- Usually stuff like mindfulness, and things that make me happy
- Hanging out with people that make me happy
- People who are kind and considerate
- Keeping calm and having a routine. Also organization skills.
- Know that everything will be okay.
- Going with the flow
- I try my best in the moment and learn from the change and if it is something I think is good I will adapt to it.
- Having a schedule helps me adapt. I can still have something that stays the same even when other things are changing.
- Just go with the flow
- Taking a break to stop and relax for a while.
- Breathing
- Strategies that help me live with change is by h getting used to the routine and changing the way I handle it even if it doesn’t work.
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Take care.
Nat